The Reading Forum

September 4, 2009

Guy from Elevator Won’t Stop Saying, “‘Sup?”

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — grayj @ 11:35 am

A very annoying fellow I met on the elevator last year won’t stop greeting me like we’re old friends.  Comeon!  There was an incident wherein the elevator stopped for fewer than 20 seconds.  We shared an uncomfortable laugh and I made a crack about it being a “survival situation” and suggested that, “unfortunately, I will have to now kill and eat you.” 

He laughed, I laughed, the elevator moved.  End of story, right? NOPE.

Now every time I see him in a hallway, or at the coffee shop, or in the freaking bathroom he’s got to greet me like an old friend.  He even tries to shake my hand and says things like, “‘Sup, elavator man?” or tries to be funny with, “uh, oh! Hope you’re not hungry today!”.

Jesus!  It was 20 seconds on an  elevator, not a year of shared combat experience in the freaking Nam.  I’m not his buddy, why does he persist? 

Come to think of it, that woman who parks next to me every day is starting to get a little overly familiar.  What’s with all the waves and smiles?  I’m just parking my car for God’s sake.

September 3, 2009

Gay Pro Bass Fisherman Insists “Gay” Remain in his Title.

Filed under: In the News — Tags: , — grayj @ 4:04 pm

Richard Muston, a professional bass fisherman from Hot Springs, Arkansas, insists that reporters continue to put the word “gay” in front of “bass fisherman” and “fisherman” when referring to him in all media.

“It’s important that the barriers I’ve broken be recognized, and I’m not backing down from this”  Mr. Muston insisted during an interview between outings at the mid-Atlantic bass Tournament this past weekend.  “The fact that I could gain this level of success in the competitive bass fishing circuit serves as an example to homosexual fishermen everywhere.  Gay or straight, bass fishing is about a meeting of equals on the water.  Nobody should be excluded because of who they love.” 

Mr. Muston wiped an actual tear from his eye as he held his rod aloft and pointed with it toward the lake, “I’ve struggled, struggled to make lakes like this a place for all fishermen.  Is it so wrong to want a little credit for my pain?”

This issue arose when an article in the Op, Alabama Citizens Register omitted the “Gay” moniker in an interview with Mr. Muston during the Lower Alabama Bass Round-up.

“The article was about how weather affected the fishing action,”  said report Skip Callis of the Register.  “How was I supposed to know the dude was gay?  What the hell?”

“This is about recognizing minority struggle, pure and simple.  He didn’t even ask me about my sexual preference in the interview.  I was very disappointed.” Mr. Muston angrily defended his demands, at one point sobbing that he would continue his struggle on behalf of all gay male children who wanted to grow up and become professional bass fishermen.

Standing on the dock near the judging stand I watched in silence as Richard Muston, Gay Bass Fisherman, started the motor of his Stratos Bass Boat, turned the bow into the wind, and rode out to battle once again.  I couldn’t help but feel that in some way his struggle is a struggle that is shared by all of us.

Junior Executive Uses iPod to Avoid Eye Contact

Filed under: In the News, Uncategorized — Tags: , , — grayj @ 3:30 pm

Timmy Grafton, a junior executive at downtown accounting firm Goldfarb, Fitch and Rajvah, was seen again with his face buried in his iPod.  This time, he was pretending to answer a text message on the elevator.

“I prefer Timothy, by the way.”  Said Mr. Grafton when this reporter finally gained his attention long enough to ask him about his predilection for avoidance behavior. 

Timmy is not the only one at Goldfarb, et. al. to avoid eye contact by using a portable electronic device.  Susan Mitchell, a Summer intern in the accounts receivable department and the object of Timmy’s romantic fantasies, frequently pretends to thumb through her Zune mp3 player when in groups of more than four.  It is for this very reason that she rarely notices Timmy staring at her in the cafeteria.  Of course, when she does look toward him he immediately receives a flurry of non-existant texts from very important imaginary senior executives.

“I am not staring at Miss Mitchell,” Mr. Grafton was quick to add when questioned about his habits, “and I’m not faking it, I really have text messages.”

Simon Goldfarb, founder of Goldfarb, et. al. was quick to comment on his junior executive’s temerity.  “I really thought Timmy would be a go-getter when I promoted him from the associate pool.  The kid never looks anyone in the eye.  It’s creepy.  What’s with all the fake texting with that kid, anyways?”

What indeed?  For more insight I consulted Dr. Poznan Voorhees.  Dr. Voorhees is a research psychologist specializing in complex behavior impairments.   “This guy’s just kind of a woos, really.” Dr. Voorhees explained.  “He’s not Alpha material, that’s all there is to it.  The fake text message thing is troubling, too.”

Further questions about this situation to Mr. Grafton via text messages went unanswered.

March 19, 2009

CITI says, “Screw You Taxpayer!”

Filed under: In the News — Tags: , — grayj @ 3:21 pm

Well, the wizards at CITI have found a way to stick a finger in the eye of the taxpayer.  Today, CITI announced that it will convert 12.5 billion $ of securities into common shares.  What does this mean?  It means that with the huge number of new shares, the stake held by current common shareholders (The US Govt, for example)  will be diluted by 75%.

The next step, will be an as yet unspecified Reverse Split.   This is slick.  This is so sad it’s funny.

February 19, 2009

Autonomous Military Robots - A Navy Perspective

Filed under: Skynet is coming — grayj @ 3:45 pm

The U.S. Navy has published an interesting report on the risks inherent in creating increasingly complex, deadly, autonomous killing machines.  Apparently, those of us who have been warning of the dangers are not crazy after all.

 Some highlights?  Oh this is GREAT stuff. 

Emergent Behaviors:  “…increasing complexity may lead to Emergent behaviors, i.e., behaviors not programmed but arising out of sheer complexity”..

 There’s a breakdown of unclassified robotic technology currently in use.  This is good stuff for technophiles. 

 There’s a lengthy discussion of the laws of robotics, including the ethical dilemnas of enforcing the Rules of Engagement associated with the laws of armed conflict. 

 I highly suggest those with an interest add this to their library on the subject.

Autonomous Robots ..

Filed under: Uncategorized — grayj @ 3:14 pm

Thread bump

 http://readingforum.com/?tag=autonomous-sociopathic-eating-machines

February 11, 2009

and some things touch our hearts…

Filed under: In the News — grayj @ 2:50 pm

Good ole sam the KoalaSam the Koala saved

February 10, 2009

The Lunatics run the Asylum…

Filed under: In the News — Tags: , , , — grayj @ 12:55 pm

Even before the official announcement, the new bailout plan is crushing the markets.  More debt upon more debt and no real solutions in sight.

 The only investment plan that seems good now?  Canned Food and Shotguns.

 At the rate with which the U.S. Government is spending Kotlikoff tells us the unraveling will be quick and we can all learn Mandarin.

February 9, 2009

Obama and Congress to America: “You’re on your own”.

Filed under: In the News — Tags: , , — grayj @ 11:21 am

Layoffs abound.   The credit crisis deepens as the housing market continues to tank, or drift along like a patient in a vegetative state.  Americans are hurting.  There is a real and deepening sense of unease throughout the land. 

There is an election and Americans in their great wisdom and eternal optimism vote for a man who says that he will bring change to the government.  For a moment, the people celebrate.

How sad, then, that the first act of this new government is to relapse into the same old habits that made the nation sick in the first place.  A great crisis has not brought forth from our leaders a great response, but the use of a crisis to pay-off the political base and grab more power.

America needs new policies and legislation that will spur businesses to expand and retain jobs.  It needs simple spending plans on infrastructure that will spur local governments to let contracts that put people to work.  Instead, Congress has given the people a mish-mash of pet projects, “get-even” legistlation, and policy decisions that have nothing to do with putting people to work.   The Wall Street Journal reports that only 12 cents on the dollar is evenly remotely for something that could stimulate the economy and less than half of hte $355B slated for infrastructure will be spent before 2010.

 Quite simply, when faced with a crisis and chance to do something good for America the Congress and President balked.  They couldn’t pitch one over the plate.  Americans are beginning to realize the truth of the matter, that they are on their own.  The American people will have to buckle-down, trim the fat, and work their way through this crisis and the coming hard times without any expectation of real help from their elected leaders.   Americans are strong, and not prone to sniveling, a fortunate thing for a people with hard times ahead.

February 4, 2009

When Robots walk the Earth…

Filed under: Skynet is coming — Tags: , , — grayj @ 10:57 am

Scottish scientist move a step closer to creating our cyborg masters. 

 Actually, this is exciting technology, the thought that artificial limbs could one day seamlessly integrate with our own nervous systems is mind blowing…

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